Why I am Mean

So I told my broadcast team that I wished two boys would fight over me. Because, I don’t know, it just sounds cool. Like, “I challenge you to a duel at dusk. Be there or be viola.” It just sounds cool. But we all know deep down inside that no one would do that. Except for God, but He didn’t really fight a duel… He fought death and won but not like a duel.

Anyway, even if someone liked me, they probably have no competition… That’s sad. Oh well. That’s the way life works. The stupid guys get the stupid girls, the smart guys get the stupid girls, and the smart girls get cats. That’s the way it works. Don’t ask me why. I don't know.

Anyway, I think the reason that people don’t like me is because I’m mean. I’m not completely ugly, I guess, and I’m pretty smart, I guess, but I’m kind of mean. So yeah…

I found a journal that I wrote… OH WAIT HOLD UP. ANANYA YOU HAVE MY NUMBER 7 JOURNAL GOSHDARNIT. Well, I found a journal in which I wrote about Number 7… And then it turned into my book of random. I keep my nerdy MBTI stuff in there. Fun. Like right now I’m working on ESTP and INFJ, I think. Or was it ISFJ? I don’t remember. Anyway. I gave it to Ananya because I was too lazy to take it to Orchestra and I just realized I forgot to take it back… whoops.

Oh well. Number 7 is dead. Habibi is dead. They’re all dead. I think my insane boy obsession has passed. I’m glad…

I’ll tell you guys why I’m mean. There are two parts to this.

First of all, the best way to not have a broken heart is to pretend that you don’t have one at all.

Second of all, it’s kind of my claim to fame. When I was in sixth grade, I was the new kid, along with a bunch of other new kids… No one really knew me that well. Until I roasted someone really badly...That’s when everyone started to acknowledge my presence. That wasn’t why I roasted people, but I do have to admit that I love fame and acknowledgement… So I just kept doing it. I became the self-crowned Queen of Roasts. (Also the self-crowned Princess Acne…) (I remember meeting a Queen of Comebacks at church… she was really good.) Anyway, even though it was really mean, I kept doing it. For acknowledgement. I probably made some people suicidal from what I said. (If you’re reading this, from the bottom of my heart, i’m really, really sorry.) So yeah… It’s still in me.

I remember in sixth grade, there were these two boys and they were always arguing. Here’s how that went:

Boy 1: I bet you kill squirrels. You’ve eaten a squirrel, haven’t you?

Boy 2: You’ve eaten a chicken, right?

Boy 1: Yeah?

Boy 2: So there. You killed a chicken.

Boy 1: Just because I ate a chicken doesn’t mean I killed it.

Boy 2: So you ate it alive?

Me: Look, I’ve never killed a chicken or a squirrel, but if you don’t shut up, I’m going to kill you.

*crickets*

wow that was not the original idea of this post... I got off topic whoops. oh well, better change the post title.