What Happens When You Hit Rock Bottom? You Get Up Now, Right?

Well, some people probably think that if you hit rock bottom, hey, things can't get worse, they can only get better right? You can't get any lower than this. Now the only way you can go is up, right?

Wrong. You know what you do? You get a drill and dig deeper into your depression. That's what happened to me today.

See, I have these things that I call depression flashes. Pretty self-explanatory. And I got one today. I don't know why... I mean mostly because two people found out about Habibi, and the only person I told was Ananya, and she's the one who told one of the people about Habibi. The other person laughed at me when I told him that I got rejected, so... Fun! So yeah. I felt like Ananya was trying to talk to Lexi and didn't really want to talk to me. So I felt like no one really wanted to be my friend. I'm used to feeling like that, it's just that I thought I kind of maybe sort of had friends. You know, you say like, "I don't have any friends" and people get offended? Like I kinda figured that those people were my friends...

I know I'm overreacting blah blah blah. Whatever man. I really don't care.

Like, it's bad enough that I got sort of rejected by Habibi once in private. But now it's going to happen again in public if word spreads. Ugh.

See, this is why I don't tell anyone about my crushes. I'm actually so scared right now. Also, Habibi is being really suicidal and I'm really scared for him oh my gosh please don't kill yourself if you do I will too. The worst part is, I'm probably not even a good reason for him not to kill himself. He'll never know how much he means to me and even if he did, he wouldn't care. This is like my worst nightmare, I didn't want anyone to know and the three people who know are all blabbermouths oh my gosh.

I'm not rock bottom anymore... I'm deep underground.

I'm not rock bottom, I'm underground. Down, down, down, to the center of the earth. Lol, I can imagine myself right now, falling down a rabbit's hole, just like Alice in Wonderland.