I'm Freeeeeeeeeee But Also No I'm Not

The Numbers are gone!! I don't have feelings for any of them. Honestly, I'm so happy and also just a little bit sad about Habibi, but you know, I wouldn't not reject me either. I haven't felt this way for such a long time, and even though liking someone is a nice feeling, being freed from them are 100 times better.

Okay, I said I don't have feelings for any of them, but I have some feelings towards one of them... But they're not good feelings, they're confused feelings. I'm very confused about why I'm thinking of him at all... I'm having flashbacks of 7th grade, and I wonder why I like him at all.

Also, there's my undying devotion to Number 1, who is too far away to reject me or make me not like him, although honestly, I think I don't really like him like that, I just want to be friends with him. It's called a squish.

Number 7 is gone. I liked him for a really long time, well compared to all my other crushes anyway. Besides Number 1, who doesn't really count. I officially started liking him on December 11th, 2017... But I know that I really don't like him anymore, because today I bumped into him, and all I felt was annoyance.

Ok, so he's in one of my classes, and he just started at me. Maybe I'm imagining it, but literally every time I say something weird, which is quite often, he just starts looking at me in the weirdest way. So when this happens, I usually look at them in the eye and then look away, because that says, "Hey, I know you're starting at me, could you please stop." But this won't work on him. Example: Today I said something really weird as usual, and then I just laughing my weird laugh that makes me sound like I'm either dying or hyperventilating. And then he was just staring at me. So I looked at him while I was laughing and then looked away. But he just kept staring at me. So I was kind of weirded out, but no one noticed. He looked kind of angry, but that was probably his resting face. Well, anyway. I kind of liked him last year. I honestly don't understand boys. -- Old Blog December 8th, 2017

Okay, you know what? I do have feelings for some of them. Some of them I hate, some of them I regret, and some of them I just want to start over. And then some of them I really don't care about.

In this moment of bravery, I will now list every single Number's name, right now.

You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? You're funny. I'm still scared of what they think of me, even though some of them rejected me, some of them are fine with me, and some of them don't even know me.

Okay, just disregard this post.