Help! I've Fallen Into Deep Depression and I Can't Get Up! (Rejection At Its Finest)

*Props to Aviva for the title*

No, it's not like that. I just wrote that because it sounds better. I'm not depressed, I'm just really, really sad. The reason why?

Let it be known that yesterday, the third day of April, the 2018th year, Habibi hast indirectly rejected Min-Jee Kang.

Yep. I didn't really ask him anything. I just sent a text message about a completely casual thing, and he wouldn't reply, so I got suspicious. I asked Ananya about it, and I came to discover a very horrible plot that I never knew... Apparently he knows because some fool told him, and he feels very uncomfortable about it. So basically, he indirectly rejected me... I'm kind of hurt, but I also have this sense of security. I mean, I like my crushes and all, but I wouldn't want to date them. I just feel like I'm not emotionally stable enough to date. One of my worst nightmares is confessing to my crush, then discovering he likes me back, and then him asking me out, because then I would have to reject him... I know I really shouldn't be worrying because they probably don't like me back anyway.

Heads up: If someone says they like me, they're either lying, insane, and/or has been having hallucinations about headless chickens for the past month. Which reminds me, today in Science, Claire told me that her friend had a crush on me. So you know what that means.

Anyway, back to Habibi... Even though I have that sense of security, it still kind of stings. I think this is why people don't like to tell people who their crush is. Fear of rejection, you know? To be fair, I didn't tell him. Someone else did.

And you know what tops it off? He used to like one of my best friends, Lexi. If you don't know Lexi, she is one of those people who seem practically perfect, really nice, gorgeous, fun to be around, but yet not snobby like the other girls. I'm basically the opposite of her. I seem dead and depressing a lot, for some reason, and I'm honest, which means I'm mean lol, and I used to say that I think I'm decent looking, but now I'm not so sure, and I'm not very fun to be around. Unless you're a little crazy.

I mean, I totally understand. Lexi is such a likable person, and there are probably 30 guys out there plotting how to pursue her. But it makes me wonder, would anyone ever like me? Which brings me back to my point of hallucinating about headless chickens.

I like logic, but if I use it for too long, it makes my head hurt.